I wasn't really expecting it.

I didn't think it could possibly measure up to the first.

After all, they always said that first love runs deeper and further.

But he did it.

Without consigning the first to an anecdote, to be remembered occasionally upon probing, he created a second in a class of its own.

And I loved it.

I won't delve into the intracacies of stop-motion feature films here (I'm no expert in the topic, after all), but if you're here for my 2-cents' worth of opinion, please watch Tim Burton's Corpse Bride.

E'nuff said.

The circle was complete last night.

By sheer chance, or divinity, we met an old friend and she made the circle complete.

It was the 6 of us again.

Just like old times almost 9 years ago.

I don't believe things happen by coincidence.

She returned to us for a purpose, and for whatever reason, it felt right.

And so, we spent an entire night catching up on old times, reminiscing about the past, laughing at previous goofs and secondary school silliness, and moaning at how old we've all become.

And the saddest part of it was, although we were still the same people, with our individual quirks and traits, our way of conversing and poking fun at people, of making jibes at one another, the thing was, I realised we weren't as happy as before.

That childhood naivety had been vanquished.

In its place was a sense of weariness, of learning to accept life and living with it, from it, despite all.

All these years, I wonder if we have progressed at all.

Another 9 years from now, I hope things will be alot more different.

I still mean what I said though.

I still wanna be the next Angelina Jolie.

We'll see.


**

By the way, if you're a beer fan, please please try this new brand of Canadian lager called Moosehead.

I'm advertising for my friend who works for the sole distributor of the beer.

It tastes rather like Hoegaarden, with alot more character.

Try it if you see it, it'a available at most local bars.

And recently, we've discovered another gem of a hideout.

This diner/pub called Blooie's, and guess what, it's located in one of my favourite places in Singapore - Siglap!

It's rustic and hidden away amidst private estates, and reminds me of a lonesome pub in Dempsey Road.

This is so gonna be one of our favourite chill-out places of 2005.

Blooie's, Moosehead beer, some awesome snowskin mooncakes from Raffles Hotel and a bunch of old friends.

The only thing that's lacking is some Belle & Sebastian.

So what happens after you finally meet your soulmate?

What happens next?

I must admit, there was naivety in me.

I thought it would end perfectly once the all-important, crucial link was found.

After all, wasn't the whole point of love about being together once you've finally found it?

Many spend all their lives looking for that single one to complete them. Some are lucky. Most settle for second-best or third-best because they are too afraid to try, too afraid to lose. And then are those who never do, however hard they try.

As it turns out, the only thing that I learned from this whole search, this whole journey of self-discovery, is this.

Soulmates don't always end up being together in the end.

Reality of life always constricts us. Gets in the way. Always gets between us. It always does.

Our sense of practicality always wins over. All those years of bourgeoisie education have effected its grasp over our minds.

There may be many reasons why. But the most powerful ones are often, ironically, the most trivial.

And so, there's no happy ending to this tale.

Go watch Eric Khoo's Be With Me.

Support the local film industry.

Even if you dislike local films, just watch it. You won't regret it.

Someone once told me that a movie is good so long as it succeeds in getting its message across to the audience. In whatever fashion. Whichever genre.

And I'm like yah.

This movie does that.

Gets its point across.

It's subtle, almost silent, and beautiful in that quiet, succinct way.

And another thing.

I'm liking Belle & Sebastian right now.

Not that it's related to Eric Khoo in any way. =)

I've been left high and dry.

I don't know if this is God's idea of "everything working out alright", but at the moment, I feel like I've been taken on a ride.

I'm a fool.

Part Two hasn't happened yet, in case you were wondering.

I seriously have no clue as to what's going on.

Sometimes, most times recently, I wonder what's the use of doing so many things and trying so hard?

Perhaps nothing matters anymore.

Everything's just futile.


**

I'm on MC today.

My eyes have been giving me some problems, it's twice in 2 months that I've been on MC for swollen and sore eyes.

I used to get this problem alot when I was in secondary school.

I HATED it.

Now, like a bad past, it's coming back to haunt me.

Thanks but no thanks. =(

I love James Blunt.

I don't care that the one song has been on my replay mode for ages. Ever since I heard it being used as a track to promote the "Lost" trailer.

I can go on listening to him forever.

I love love love James Blunt. Don't you just?


**


I did it.

Unlike what my last post suggested, I didn't wait for the golden, perfect opportunity to manifest itself.

Sometimes, it may be a good thing to subdue the perfectionistic nature in you.

Just let loose. Go with the flow. Allow your spontaneous side to reign once in a while.

And so I did it.

In a rather timidly way, in my opinion. But still, I'm proud of myself for finally following through and acting upon my desires instead of procrastinating the entire time and eventually end up berating myself for lost opportunities and missed chances, like what I'll tend to do.

It seemed to have turned out pretty well, however. The entire thing.

But I can't be too sure yet because I've been away.

I'll find out soon enough when I get back.

In the meantime, you can't imagine just how many times I've silently appealed to The Lord above to "just let the whole thing work out".

I don't even know what I mean by those words exactly, but I'm sure that He does.

And that He will.

The entire episode has been really draining for me.

Without really expecting it, I broke down and cried last night.

It was a good cry, like a good, clean catharsis.

I didn't feel any worse for wear after that.

There's going to be a Part Two.

I'll write more when it happens.

If there's ever one thing that I'm waiting for right now (other than a new job), it's chance.

Just one chance.

I'm waiting till the sun sets and the days past, waiting till the cows come home.

And still waiting. Waiting.

Waiting for that one chance to manifest itself.

Seriously, there's actually no need for me to wait. But no, the perfectionist in me wants everything to be perfect. The timing, the mood, the vibes. The feeling.

Wait a minute.

What if it will never turn out right? The way I want it to.

Am I going to continue waiting? That would be completely foolish.

You can't believe just how big a dilemma I've gotten myself into.

And it's been seriously overdue.

Like how Charlie describes it when he presents Willy to his father, Wilbur Wonka, after a separation of goodness-knows-how-many-years, where both father and son eventually reunite, and the one comment to that by Charlie was, "He's overdue".

I'm overdue.

If for once, everything will just work out alright, I'll be eternally grateful.

Really.

Just one chance.

I think my blog's pathetic.

There used to be a time when I'll blog about almost anything and everything, a time when I was utterly forthcoming in my words and when I spared no punches.

A time when this space served as a great catharsis, a refuge, a place I'll always return to and once I've left my mark, everything will seem alright again.

A time when I'll blog almost everyday, sometimes even twice a day, and I never found it to be a chore.

A time when I actually delighted in being a public display, when I'll (gawd!) "advertise" my blog to friends.

A time when I was completely confident of my verbal prowess and superb writing abilities.

Things just aren't the same anymore.

I'm not sure what changed. Me or the blog.


**


I'm tormented at work.

I'm making such a huge risk whenever I write about work, because it's such a sensitive issue and lotsa companies just aren't prepared to have their employees typing away and displaying their grievances to the world.

But, since I've already said it, here goes. I'm tormented at work.

You cannot just imagine how utterly bored and uninspired I am every single waking day.

This is actually comparable to going for Math class back in the days of yore.

That's how terrible the situation is.

And it just doesn't help that I'm currently in a "hermit-like" state.

Meaning I actually seriously believe-it-or-not enjoy just staying at home the whole day doing nothing but reading sleeping and watching telly.

To prove my point, I'd purposely omitted all punctuation in my last sentence.

And I'm A-OK with not going out shopping, prowling the streets as if I'm in search of gold (or a rich hubby), or not meeting ANYONE for that matter.

That's how seriously steeped I am in hermit-zone.

The only time when I had no choice but to look for people to hang out with was when I desperately wanted to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory like a gazillion times and I didn't want to do it alone.

If one day, I can get past myself to just begin watching movies on my own, I would have seriously abolished all reason for human companionship.

Yes, not even sex.

I can't wait for that day to arrive.