Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me-e, Happy Birthday to ME.


**

Although you think that your world is one huge, messed-up universe, the cosmos seem intent on showing you the exact opposite.

It seems like everyone around you has been tasked with the impossible mission this very day - that of making you one HAPPY girl.

In the words of someone, I'm so adored it's making everyone envious.

In the words of another, from the way things go, it looks as if I never ever had a birthday before.

The moment I sat down at my table after coming in late for work on 20th January 2006, I noticed a little box perched on the top of my CPU. It says Happy Birthday. First present of the day is from someone I didn't really expect. It's a bottle of Ralph Lauren's Romance. Perfect.

Few hours later, I received a huge bouquet of flowers, tulips to be exact, purple tulips, my favourite flowers, and they were delivered right to my work-desk. Courtesy of my colleagues. They wanted me to believe it was from some secret admirer, but I wasn't duped for a moment. Oh no. Only COT would have come up with something like that.

An hour later, after I'm back from a meeting with the big boss, I found a huge blue box on my desk. I thought someone had bought me a man and smuggled him in it.

Turns out it's a gigantic fluffy white dog soft toy, but he's my new-found boyfriend. Lonely nights, no more.

Less than an hour later, I catch someone trying to slip a present on my table without me knowing. I catch her red-handed. It's a box of Famous Amos cookies in a nice teddy-imprinted box. And 2 stalks of hearts, which I take to signify as hearts of love. They look pretty and I look like a fairy godmother waving her wand holding them.

More hours later, when the work-day has officially come to an end, I received another gift from the bunch of "secret admirers". It's a wallet from Guess?. Just what I need. And I'd thought the flowers were it.

Less than 15 minutes later, I received the last of my presents for the day. A box of cosmetics from Lancome. As you know, I'm such a lazy girl I hardly put on any make-up nowadays. Not even for a date. But I appreciate the efforts made to scour for a suitable present for me, it is, after all, really tough to buy something for Ms Chong the Bimbo. So, for their sake, I will attempt to put the cosmetics to good use. Oh yes.

Is it wrong then, if after all these, you're still not quite there in terms of being happy? If, at the back of your mind, you're still thinking about that someone, and what he (did not) do for you for your birthday? Doesn't he know that all you want is for him to personally say Happy Birthday to you, give you a hug (or even a handshake) and present you with a card that he wrote, or some such small gift? Even if it's another Thursday Next book, you wouldn't mind. In fact, you'll be jumping for joy if after all this huge mess that only you'd created, he'll still get you a birthday present of his own. Maybe another Nightmare Before Christmas figurine? Jack Skellington on a keychain? Anything. Really.

It's terrible when, on top of unhappiness, you have to deal with guilt for being unhappy.