It's been so cold these days that I almost feel like I'm back in Sapa, which isn't right.

It's been raining so much that I'm getting quite sick of seeing dark clouds, muddy puddles on the road and drizzles of rain. Go away. You're boring me.

Not that I'm complaining about how nice it is to cuddle up in bed though. It beats feeling all hot and bothered under the collar just before you tuck into bed, definitely.

I had promised not to write about him in this blog. I know I did. Somewhere in these words.

But the feeling of trepidation is taking over, as the hours tick past.

I'm scared. Literally.

Tomorrow's going to be the first in a long while where we're going to have a proper talk, just the 2 of us. I can't even recall when was the last.

Ok, if truth be told, the last was just on Monday, the eve of Hari Raya Haji, but I'm not going to count that in 'cos it hardly qualifies as a talk, given the length of time we had for each other.

I'm really quite scared.

I'm not at all sure what to say to him; I'm worried that I will turn dumbfounded, and clam up when it comes to baring my heart, as usual. I've never been good at communicating my feelings in the oral language.

I'm not surprised if he hardly understands what I've been going through.

All I know is, I'm going to remember that hug for a long long time.

I can't believe it actually happened. It's really too surreal.

I don't know whether to thank you or not, God.