I'm so drained, it's unbelievable.

Shedding tears has always taken alot out of me. Each time, I feel emptied, hung out to dry like a wet towel, and it always makes me want to just cuddle in bed and zonk out.

Like now.

Seeing her sob was like the straw that broke the camel's back, i.e. it triggered a chain reaction in me.

I know we were hysterical, we even scared one or two people, but we'll be fine tomorrow. I'm always fine tomorrow.

They can't understand why we reacted the way we did, it all seemed too emotional for them to swallow. I admit it was overboard, but I totally understand her mixed emotions. As for me, I have no defence at all because we will still get to see each other, it's not like Armageddon, you know.

Can they understand when I say that I feel left behind? No, I don't think so.
Like everyone you know has moved on but you're still stuck behind, because your shoe got caught in a rut on the ground and unless you leave your shoe behind, you're trapped there until someone rescues you. And you don't know how long that might be. A few hours, maybe days, months? You don't know whether you can survive that long in one piece. On the other hand, it could be your favourite pair of shoes at stake here, like a pair of Ferragamos or something, and you're caught in a dilemma because you know, no girl can bear to leave her Ferragamos behind. So what do you do? Stay or forsake something in order to move on?

OK, that was a crazy analogy, but you know, only to bring the point across.

And everyone who knows my position in the workplace is telling me to stay, to persevere, because they say I've got a future here, I can go far. I can do so much more.

And I know they're right.

It does not make the problem any easier. I've been thinking about it until my brains are fried.

All I want to do is get a good sleep.